Sherian Oakley

Family Caregiver Support Group Coordinator, Someone Cares

Location(s) served: Tennessee

Address: Tullahoma, Tennessee

Email: oakley@cafes.net

Fun Fact about me:
I am a member of the Andy Griffith Rerun Watchers fan club.

Profile:
If you have found this website, chances are you are a family caregiver to a loved one. You are scared. You feel out of control and you feel that no one understands the stress and burden you are under. You wish you could pull the covers up over your head and tune the world and the responsibilities out, if just for a moment. But you can’t. The truth is we become tired and depressed and there are days we just don’t think we can do it anymore or worse… that we even want to do it anymore, yet we do because we care deeply for our loved one.
We must remind ourselves that this is all a normal part of being a family caregiver. We must not feel guilty or pretend it is not hard. Until you have walked in the caregiver shoes you can never really know the amount of work and worry that is a daily part of a care givers life. Imagine if your loved one was in the hospital or nursing home, all their needs are being attended to by 3 shifts of nurses, bathing aids, dietitians etc, doing what you do single handedly every day. Is there any wonder why we are tired, depressed, and worn out? It is very ok to admit that you are at your wits end and struggling.
It doesn’t matter if you care for them in your home or are a long distance caregiver you are carrying out an unselfish act of love. Unfortunately we do not have a road map to guide us as we begin this journey. The twist and turns that await us often overwhelms us and make us feel out of control. I found that as I cared for my mother that I experienced the same emotions of fear, worry, dread, and sense of loss as she did, yet there was no one to share my emotions…that of a family caregiver with. Only another caregiver can begin to understand how a caregiver feels.
I am a firm believer that God uses every experience in our lives for something. My experience as a caregiver taught me how isolated, hopeless and forgotten a caregiver can feel. Friends and even pastors may want to help but they do not know how. It is through my own journey that I have found my passion to give a voice to the family caregiver. I am very excited to be a part of the National Family Caregivers Association and a volunteer representative in Tennessee.
If you are a family caregiver, live in the Tullahoma area and wish to join the Someone Cares Support Group, please contact me for more information. oakley@cafes.net I am also available for public speaking events. The need is so great to get the word out that Caregivers NEED a caregiver.
Lastly I add 3 important things to remember that I read somewhere in a book….
1. To be a caregiver you need the heart of a butterfly and the skin of a rhinoceros.
2. “Die to what doesn’t matter and live for what does”.
3. Do whatever you need to do so that when your loved one is gone you will feel complete and do not have any regrets.
Peace and blessings,
Sherian